I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
