You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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