I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
