Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
