I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
