That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
