You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
