At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
