Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
