A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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