that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
