just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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