Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
