you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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