You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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