She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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