Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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