So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
