You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
