Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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