She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
