guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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