Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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