I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
where are my eyebrows?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
