Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
