Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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