So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
