the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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