hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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