Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
