Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I want to have your abortion
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
