Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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