Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
