I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
