How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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