Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
