we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
