Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
