i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
