Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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