Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
