I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
