Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
