You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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