he told me I talked like a deaf person
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
