So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
