After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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