can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
