hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
