My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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