On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
